I'll get back to your question in a few days. I need to digest a little. Like I said, it seems like something is happening. I'm at a crossroads, I need to choose a path.
I went to IC today and she made me realize that whether W is lying or not, it doesn't matter. She's telling me how she feels/felt for the first time in a long, long time. Does it matter if I agree with it, whether its factual, whether it had to do with me or OM, politics or the weather? She's telling me how she feels (and it seems like I'm the only one she's telling) [Here's a nod to Vanilla for trying to tell me this for the last couple months....love ya, V]
My W didn't share a whole lot with me over the last year (or maybe more,) but that doesn't mean she wasn't 'feeling' things about me whether they were good or bad. I couldn't react to either because she was keeping them bottled up. Our communication was so horrible and I didn't even know it that her feelings of resentment (I don't know exactly why, yet) built up inside her and we got farther and farther apart, especially with OM in the picture.
Anyway, I need some time to process. The next phase is going to be difficult because I'm going to have to trust my W with a bunch of my emotions and try everything possible not to defend myself. I may be at the point that there's so much damage that she's done to me with OM, BD, A, etc. that I'm not going to be able to do that. I don't know, but I pretty much know what the right thing to do is. I need to figure out if I'm ready.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
