I completely get it and I have been there. I dealt with all the same emotions and was angry too. HeIl sometimes I still deal with anger.
But don't let that anger consume you or get in the way of what is BEST for you during the D.
I know you are hurting, but make small goals or take time outs when things get over whelming. What helped me was trying to remind myself to take it a day at a time. I often overwhelmed myself of where would I be in 6 months. It doesnt matter today.