Thanks - I wouldn't be where I am today without the wealth of knowledge from a ton of great people on this board so I just hope my story and many mistakes can help others
Rzr- I think you should stop worrying about her falling or not falling in love with you. When you first start dating, is that a concern? Worrying about the person falling in love with you ASAP? I think if this were a R with someone new they would think you were a little cray cray if you were pressuring like that (not saying you are pressuring her, nor am I defending her). Just relax. Back off. Let her be. Let her stew. Actions speak louder than words. I talked and talked and my H was gone and let it go in one ear and out the other. I finally got my chit together one day (during piecing) and made arrangements for the boys. Got dressed up and went out with my girlfriends. Since that night things began changing for us. I changed and so did H. But the key there is that we both wanted to.
I had already been backing off, not arguing, not pressuring and the going out was the icing on the cake. He ended up driving an hour to come see me that night. Not saying one night fixes everything but let her go be miserable herself. You have to separate yourself and her unhappiness.
Once you back off it allows her to see that shes unhappy regardless and probably more so with you gone --- especially if you're happy upbeat and enjoying yourself.
This really isn't rocket science. I remember putting so much emphasis on every move and interaction I had with H. My pressure radiated from me. Let go of that -- who cares if she gets mad .. Just don't put yourself as an open target for her. Can you go home shower and clean up and make plans to take the kids out and do something fun? Or get dressed up and go out and meet some friends for drinks?
Hey W, I have plans tonight. I arranged for a sitter for the kids incase you have plans. Let me know what works for you. Thanks!
