In truth i'm not that complex, Although i could probably type out a lengthy thesis on probabalistic decision making and the differences between decisions and outcomes.
I looked at that key question quite simply, if you would answer 'yes' that would sign the papers today (if you could) and be ok with that then emotionally you are much more in the position to start thinking about dating.
By answering yes what you are saying is 'I'm done with this relationship' thats not saying you're permanently closing the door on any relationship with your wife but it does massively increase the chances of future relationships not being with her (and by consequence reduces the probability that it will be).
But equally by saying yes you have to ask so why arent you proceeding with the divorce? again is the answer anything other than because of legal technacalities about timing and/or fault?
I suppose i think there are 4 elements to the divorce, Practical, Emotional, Legal and Moral and its about checking against each one of these to see where you are and making sure that you're ok with your choices. Its a safe bet that in yours (and mine) your wife would say she is divorced in 3 out of 4 of these.
As wonka has said, your still legally married and so if you do start dating it makes you an adulterer (in the eyes of the law) irrespective of what she has or hasnt done.
Originally Posted By: Mozza
Because it is the healthy and self-respecting reaction to ..........outright rejection. My take does not apply to all sitches, but to mine where my W is committed to someone else and living with him. I'm still proudly DB'ing and hope to eventually reconcile with my WAW , but this ball is in her court. Me standing at her door until she changes her mind or that some local law allows her to rip apart our M certificate is not a healthy reaction.
So i feel like this paragraph is key and I can honestly say I recognise a lot of the sentiment and agree wholeheartedly with the last sentence.
The bit I've bolded is where I see the conflict because this makes me think that you wouldnt sign the papers and if you wouldnt then as well as legally, emotionally you're still married.
It is interesting the different reaction people get on here about this sort of thing though.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
