I need a plan for how I'm going to talk to her tonight. My thoughts:
I take responsibility for my mistakes in the marriage. There are plenty of times I let her down, and I want to do everything I can to make sure I don't make the same mistakes going forward.
Encourage her to find an IC. She needs solid, objective, professional help to sort everything out. This isn't for me, but for her.
She needs to make a decision to commit to working on the marriage with me. If she does that, I will be in it with her, 100% If she does not want to commit, then we have some hard decisions to make.
I don't have any particular problem with any of them, but I think more important than the words of the script itself is that she somehow feel a very different ATTITUDE from you tonite. That "Hey, love ya babe, and it'd be really cool if you wanted to work on all this with me, but if you think it's too much work or probably won't work out in the end, that's cool too babe, no harm/no foul and I'm beginning to think you're probably right, and this isn't working for me, either. Just let me know so we can both get on with our life, okay?"
THAT sort of a thing.
In order for this to work, I think she has to have a credible fear of losing you, that she went TOO far. I don't think she's ever felt that vibe from you.
It's time for her to pursue YOU, Rzr. I hope you will come to realize that you're worth that, and that life is too short.
