So... a bit of spew from WAH today . I need validation help.
He was picking up D on an unseasonably warm day. (It's been FRIGID here for weeks, but pretty warm today). Still, she had on a couple of light layers and I said, "Is she going to wear a jacket at all?" He rolled his eyes at me as if I am the most controlling, over-protective mom on the planet. (Ok, I used to be, but nowadays I don't say a WORD about his parenting.) I called him out on rolling his eyes at me.
A half hour later, I got a 3 paragraph email:
I'm sorry I rolled my eyes. I know you are sensitive to that and I should avoid it.
I'm sensitive to being questioned as caregiver. Of all the things that you may choose to no longer trust about me, as you have mentioned, this seems least warranted and necessary.
D4 is the single most important thing in my life. I think you know that. Generally, on almost everything about how we raise her, I defer to your opinion and am more than respectful of it. I wish some of the finer details didn't have to be debated.
I'm supposed to validate. I know. But seriously? Because I asked a question about a jacket?? This seems so petty and manipulative. To me, it's like he goes on the offensive to make me feel too timid to ever question anything. And that doesn't feel ok. Do I really have to validate this cr@p? The more I think about him, his lack of R skills, his lack of self-reflection... I do not want this man at all.
Could really use some feedback on this, if anyone is listening. Thanks.
I'll start here.
Why ask the question about the jacket? I know we're moms, these thing just roll out unbidden but really think about this.
What's worst case if she doesn't have a jacket?
Where else does this tendency, and it is control, pop up?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
