I do understand how you felt at that time 8 years go, because my MIL accepted the ow into her family w/no questions asked...however, relatives and friends are put into awkward positions when they sons and daughters flip and begin doing things that they least expected from them.
I want to share this with you because I think it will help you to pick up that phone and call her. It was a very odd day and something kept niggling at me back in March of 2004 to call my former MIL. She was in a nursing home and something just kept telling me to call her. I hadn't spoken to her since 1999. Well, I called her and she was very close to death's door. We talked for a bit and I told her that I forgave her for her part in welcoming the ow into the family and that I understood the position that she was put into. She was so happy that I called. Three days later, she died. Forward, I have never regretted calling her that last time and telling her that I forgave her. Today, I still have a mass said for her on March 14th in honor of her.
Forward, your former MIL is terminal. There is no way to determine when she will pass. It's better to put things in order and know that you put your best foot forward. I know you were hurt long ago, but it's time to put that hurt in a box and place it on a shelf. Eight years is a long time and by calling her, it shows that you are a good person who has a kind and forgiving heart. Please pick up the phone and call her. It just might brighten up her day and you'll feel better for doing so.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
