Mozza (10) + Links to success stories

[jim0987]

Mozza,

So unhelpfully I agree with pretty much everything everyone has said. (Patientman thankyou for such a considered and thoughtful explanation of your views)

I'm wrestling with a lot of the same thoughts as you Mozza. So for me its easiest to describe the questions rather than the answers. the sort of ones that scurry about in my head include:

- What am i standing for now?
- at what point does 'standing for my marriage' just start to look delusional?
- Do I look weak?
- Does this keep me as plan B?
- Is me dating really going to make the situation any worse?
- Am i thinking of dating just out of jealousy and loneliness?
- Does it matter?
- Is not dating just keeping me stuck be cause it keeps me focused on what I've lost?
- Are there reasons other than a piece of paper to stop me dating?
- What shows self respect?
- How much more 'Opportunity cost' am i willing to sink into this no longer existant relationship
- And the classic but I know unimportant, what will my W think if and when she finds out?

But this then links to the more fundamental questions around how much headspace i'm still giving my wife (and unfortunately OM) and the whole awful situation.

So i've just said all of this and know all the complexities about legality and morality vs practicality and reality (the UK is 2 years seperation for a no fault divorce), so for me I think there is one key question to answer to know whether dating is the right option:

If you could sign all the divorce paperwork and the divorce be finalised today, would you sign it? And how would you feel about it?

How you answer this I think will tell you a lot about where you truly are on this.