I am back...still DBinging...

[jim0987]

Sign? I think RD is going for the neon billboard


Hi Pink, As I read through your updates there were a few phrases you used that stood out for me

I feel that the LBS needs to find a balance in the whole craziness and try to be the best they can

This is a good sentiment, but I think the crucial caveat is that it needs to have no reference to what the WAS sees, hears or thinks because as long as it does you are still wrapped up in their craziness

maybe he feels I am trying to move on.

Are you? if you really think about it are you? Either way your GAL is impressive and has to be doing you good.

I doubt he knows what he feels, can you honestly say you know how you feel? and how long does that feeling last?

Feelings come and go but how we act on them, how we let them define who we are and what we do is what matters. Until he is prepared to take actions which make him the kind of man you deserve does it matter what he feels?

But in the same time he says that we will be OK, that we will do our D and be OK.

He's right you know.

You will be OK (him i'm less so sure). It might not be the happily ever after you originally envisaged and there may be some difficulties along the way but you'll be ok. In fact if you choose you'll be better than ok because you will take the good from this, you'll learn from all this and you will be able to move forward with your life in the most positive way possible.

And I have no doubt there will be no shortage of good people who want to be a part fo your life, if thats what you choose.

I will keep the divorce going. At least I will have my life and the life of my children straight up and with direction. If, just if, he comes back one day, we will see if he has any room left in our hearts.

Right now I feel this is the right attitude and approach. He is making his choices and this shows you respecting both his choice and yourself. This is not about making a possible future reconcilliation harder but is about recognises the reality of the present.

But the kind that wishes him good fortune as he drives his bus off the cliff.

I loved this sentiment Toots. If we can do this genuinely with an open and loving heart then we know it isnt a form of control and that we are truly detached from their craziness.



All in all, I think what i'm trying to say is that your doing really well with a horrendous set of circumstances and I would hate to see some vagueness on the part of your H upset you anymore than he already has. You deserve better and he doesnt deserve that kind of control and influence over you.

Live your life Pink, live it to its fullest and try not to care about the cliff your H has driven his life off of. Maybe, one day he will realise what an utter fool he has been and start the work he needs to do to earn another chance with you.

H is a Koala Bear, he needs affection.

just wanted to say, me too.