Ok, maybe I'm glad you moved this out of my thread
Anyway, good on you for taking the feedback as well as you have. I'm sure it's tough as this is such a polarizing topic. My only concern is a little by what PM said initially, it seems like you are justifying some of this based on what W did to you. That smells a little of revenge or resentment. I see what IC is telling you about women, but I think being up front and comfortable around women is different than pursuing sex. I know that's not what you are only taking about here, but the 'sex' word is what is causing a stir.
Like I said, i see our sitchs are very different now, and the D is just a piece of paper. What I think is getting people hung up is what are your views of marriage as a whole?
So a little story. About 10 years ago, my brother got D. They were having issues, but He cheated on his W. He came clean, admitted it and they never reconciled. Well, I remember talking about that with my W and was saying that I couldn't understand how they just decided to 'end' their marriage, especially because my niece and nephew were so young at the time. My W responded "well, he wasn't happy. It's better for them to be separated if he was unhappy" I remember that conversation because it was the first time that I saw that my views of marriage were different than my W's. We never really talked about it since then, but I see that view was part of the reason my W has done what she has done. I wonder to this day if we had opened up a conversation to really examine our views and feeling towards M could this have been avoided by her seeing my position or me understanding her's? I don't think either of us knew how we really felt until the last year or so and even then her view was confirmed prior to her leaving and mine was confirmed after I found out about OM. We really need to understand how we feel here about these things before we would move into a new R.
So, putting your current R aside for a second. Would you change your view in your next M?
Last edited by MCS; 03/19/1505:23 AM.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
