EyeTie | Thanks for your support. This being said, even I think that you're quite fast out of the gate with dating! Your S is very recent still (last month) and less extreme than mine as I recall. She doesn't live with OM and gives slight hints that she might want back, which your mediator picked up. Also, I'll come back to explain what is the issue that I'm trying to solve with dating. I've phrased it before, but I need to think about it more.
Wonka | Thanks for chipping in. I'm sorry, but I don't understand your point on the intellectual argument. I'm saying that I can freely date because I'm no longer bound by M even though I am on paper. I explained why there is still a M on paper (local regulations), but not in my life (morals). Clearer? (Your previous post just appeared, strangely, I'll reply later, I'm not ignoring it)
TLEE86 | I agree that it's a twisted understanding of M to offer a pass. That's why I didn't take it. At the same time, I was so focused on my decision that I probably didn't reflect enough on the offer itself and what it was telling me about my W. Another red flag missed. We should really have gone in counseling after that...
Originally Posted By: TLEE86
Supposed W wants to come back to you and come home in 6 months. Would you want her, if she changed her behaviors? Would SHE want YOU after knowing that YOU TOO did something while she was gone?
HA! I'm going to faint or have some asthma crisis should she event float the scent of a hint that she's upset I dated while she was gone. I don't even know how she could pull it off. She leaves me overnight in a smokescreen of lies, sleeps with another man, tells him words of love, commits to him, moves in with him and then, after she's done all of this, I date. Then she would say "But we were still married, how could you?" HA! No, really. No. It's not even comparable even if I do the exact same thing as her, but six months after she did it (which I don't, anyway).
One detail: When she emailed me she was with OM, one and a half month after leaving, she also asked me to let her know when I find someone (because: kids). She fully expects it and knows that she has no ground to hold it against me.
You make a very good point about whether I'm done or not, regardless of the D delays in the law. No, I'm not done. I still hope to save my M. I'll have to think about that. Just to help me think, would you say that I'd also have to avoid other women if I was D'ed and still hoped to reconcile?
Regarding the filing, she wants to be D'ed as soon as the law allows (she rushes everything she has to do) and I told her, as per DB, that I wouldn't stand in her way nor help her much. I'm not filing for her.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
