Mozza (10) + Links to success stories

[TLEE86]

Hey Mozza, just my 2cents on a few of these points.

1. It is not because my W cheated on me that I want to date. She cheated on me in 2009 and I turned down her offer to have a "pass" to make up for it. It's because this time she has completely walked away from the M six months ago and is now living with OM. So it's not a revenge, otherwise I would have done it long ago.

This rubbed me the wrong way, not really of what you said, but what she said. Offering you a "pass??" As...strange as that is...its a red flag to me and sort of puts things in perspective. To me it also shows that she doesn't get it. That cheating is not something that you can make up for by giving your spouse a "free hall pass to have sex." Cheating is not equated to..."well...i screwed up and bought myself a super expensive thing without asking..so...now you can go do it too and all will be better." No..I am so glad you didnt take her offer before because that would have caused even more problems for you guys..IMHO.

This being said, of course this discussion is about my intentions and it's true that should my flirt turn into a date and turn into sex, I would go all the way.

Do you really think this is the way to go? Honestly? Because if you do this...you are justifying your W's behaviors because now you too are doing what she is doing. I know you are hurt, more than anything, but whether or not this is about revenge...once you do this...you cant take it back. Now although she left you and is in the wrong, up until this point, you have done nothing wrong. Do this...and you just jumped off the cliff with her.

Flirting, ok. Wanting attention, ok. But to cheat, and I'll call it cheating because you're still married to her, imo, is crossing the line that I really don't think you want to. Supposed W wants to come back to you and come home in 6 months. Would you want her, if she changed her behaviors? Would SHE want YOU after knowing that YOU TOO did something while she was gone?

Just stuff to think about...