TLEE86. Part III

[TLEE86]

Mozza- If the situation of $ comes up again, which it might, you are right. While its true that $ is tight right now, as Im sure it is for all of us, the reason is not because of that. It is because I wont support or enable her financially while she has left me. If we were happy and together, I would find a way to support her regardless of $. So you are 100% correct. I am choosing not to support her because of whats going on, and if it comes up again, I need to grow a pair and tell her that.

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Everyday I feel closer and closer to dropping the rope and just being done done. I am just so tired of her behavior.

No real change in communication, still very frequent, but W is unhappy and depressed, admittedly depressed. Says she doesn't know what to do so she looks for jobs, but finds jobs that don't pay anything and then quits, and then looks for more jobs and the cycle continues. Says that she "is so depressed and feels like she cant climb out of this huge hole and doesn't know what to do."

I told her maybe see an IC or take meds, and she is attempting to see her old IC but not available for a month.

I just don't get it. She complains about being depressed, she knows she's not doing well there, but doesn't seem to equate her surroundings/environment as being part of her depression. I mean, SHE LEFT ME, yet she's WORSE than ME? Shouldn't she be happy?

But yet, OM is still in her life, still at his place, still doesn't know what she's doing. And I am getting closer and closer to telling her, I don't want to talk to you anymore because whether you tell me you're not sure about where you are going to end up, you have made a very conscious choice to stay there. So until you leave, I am going to keep communication to a minimum. Do I want to? Not really...but i dont care anymore. She chose to leave me, why do i still give a [censored] about her. She's literally not helping herself, waiting for someone to come in and sweep her off her feet and tell her its going to be ok. She has all the power in the world to do whatever she wants, but she is choosing to do nothing.

Asked her if she though about coming here, and she said she "needs to exhaust all her options to make it on her own first" and it is "hard for her to swallow her pride and come back." BASICALLY...Im still plan B. And Im tired of it.

On another note, Im going to be in her area in 2 weeks and were going to have dinner/hang out. Not really sure how this one is going to go... but we will see.

OH YA. Today is the day I first met my W, and we got engaged a year later on this day as well. We've always celebrated it- not as big as our anniversary, but still something. SHE FORGOT ABOUT IT. She texted me and said she's depressed and I said yea, kind of a weird date today, and she says "I didnt even realize it....and then goes on to tell me about her depression." OUCH.

Anniversary is in 3 days. Im going to assume she's not going to even remember it. Quite honestly, I don't even plan to answer her texts or calls that day. Im so over this.