Yes, being a sad sack is exactly what I was doing-- which is why I backed off from it. (I've also changed by online nick here from "sadpand" to "newpand" but I think that has to go through moderation before it appears.)
And yes, it is obvious to me, and you, and the MC that it is inappropriate and disrespectful for W to carry on an A during the marriage. But it has also become clear that I am not prepared to enact difficult consequences to set that boundary. This actually is a dual matter of practicality and pride: Practical, because I can't afford the mortgage if W moves out. Pride, because although my mother has said, weeks ago, that she would co-sign the refinancing and cover the mortgage while I job-hunt, just to get W the heck out of there, I would much rather get a job first and stand on my own two feet.
So when I feel the pain, distress, and loneliness of the A, I can feel that as motivation to get a freakin' jorb.
