Complex No. 6 - The turtle and the rabbit

[Complex]

So my therapist told me I am making a lot of progress very fast. I agree.

Interaction with W is still light and more friendly, even after she told me I should move out and I said I won't...
So back to where we were before. I keep doing my thing. Stay busy. Yesterday I showered put some cologne on and went out for a bit meeting with a friend on a green beer while W was watching TV on the couch.
Felt good. I'm in a bit of a moral struggle. I started looking more at other women. Maybe just to see what's out there..and I didn't have sex in 3-4 months. I imagine R's with other women..how it could be,...I just feel like I want to be admired and loved for who I am..., but I still didn't give up hope. Is that morally ok? I catch myself and feel like it's alright but I want to keep focusing on myself and the promise I made. I thought I'll only get married ONCE in my life, that's what I believed in, at least for myself.
I hope 25yr is coming back one of these days to answer my remaining questions. It was humongously helpful of her what she wrote and I didn't feel criticized at all, it was very constructive.

Still need to fulfill some more GAL stuff like volunteering and church but I'm just so dead tired today and yesterday from working out so hard and then working and school all day ...I'll take a well deserved nap now and head back to work after