Its a long road Jer ... very very long. And yeah you are still in the trenches, still very close to ground zero.
Thing is ... I know you wish your W would have just asked for time and space and worked on herself ... in her MLC noggin that is what she is doing now, the pain is so great she is looking for a fix ... I equate it to someone who has ... toss in your disease, instead of going to the Doctor to get set up for treatments ... they go to the bar, get drunk, the pain is gone that night ... but they wake up feeling like crap again .. but hey that drinking worked .. so lets stay at it .. well they can not run from it forever, some do but those are the ones stuck and miserable ... hopefully she will realize .. ok this is not working either... then its on to something else, maybe its treatment finally .. or maybe they try something else.
I think the trick is to get out of their way, get out of their heads, no room for sane up in there anyways. I would not be shocked with yours if she went from OW1 and started a OM2 who is closer and available to get her fix. Mine seemed to dabble with a OM2 just for a bit .... but I think she quickly realized that was not helping either ... for the moment she seems to be 'off' men. It helps to ... I know this is bad to say .. but it helped me... view them as a science project, like in a container, you can not change nor alter their environment .. just notice what is happening, how they behave ... document and watch. Currently I am watching the couch in her place ... the thing is placed in a ridiculous position and it just humors the heck out of me. My own way of making this thing funny.
I think I am about 2-3 years into this ... I did not discover this site till what .. late July, figured out MLC in August, so its only been 6 months I have actually known what I was dealing with and slowly learned how to better deal with it ... and the best of those lessons had nothing to do with W, it was all about me, finding myself, letting go, finding peace regardless of what W did, rebuilding ME. I see myself looking down the D barrel, but I am good.. she might need this, she may be rethinking .. regardless she is not someone I want at this moment. I am not in her way on ANYTHING, she can try to blame me but at this point its just punching the air for her.
Try to get there Jer ...Jer2.0.. its the hardest but most rewarding part of all of this.
