Alpha - rollercoasting #3

[alpha99]

Just in how I talked to her and related to the world around me. I was critical of everything she did. Hell, I was critical of everything anyone did. When I learned to respond to her in love no matter what she did, to have nothing to say about anything (except when she crossed my boundaries even then, I responded in love) she started paying more attention. Oh, and a lot of prayer. But it totally different for everyone.

Thanks for replying so quickly Jefe. Your words ring home here. I was very critical of an awful lot of things my W did, and as has been pointed out to me by others, almost everything everyone I ever met and knew did/was doing.

My W says I will never change. I think if we blow away all the 'I love you but...' and 'I don't find you attractive anymore' stuff, what is really at the bottom of my sitch is that my W just really, really, really got fed up with me calling her names when she did something wrong (in my eyes) and fed up me treating her badly (taking her for granted etc) when she failed to live up to my (ridiculous) expectations.

Reading through some of your earlier threads has showed me that there is a path to getting through to the other side with your marriage intact. It requires patience, persistence, and real genuine change in myself. I just need to make these changes in myself that will make me a better person for MYSELF, for people I encounter and my life in general, and of course if my W 'still has her eyes open' as MWD puts it, then so much the better and we may get somewhere.