Masterpiece - a little more progress...

[Jer2911]

Like GB said Jer ... you can only really control YOU, your W is in replay, probably one of the most brutal of all the stages as far as the just plain selfishness of it all.

Brutal is a nice way to describe this! :-)

I do follow you pretty well, the thing I think you need to start doing more of ... get out of her head and really get your GAL on, even if thats something with the kids.

So hard to get out of her head... Especially since we still live together and that keeps me exposed to so much right now... For example, last night her mom had the kids so we were alone at home... Not long after I went off to the master bedroom I could hear her talking downstairs -- they were Skyping and W didn't bother to plug in the headphones so I was able to hear both of them talking very loudly downstairs. Went back to bedroom and turned up my television so I could drown out the conversation...

I am telling you because I was there, consumed with W, how she sounded on the phone, how she looked, what nights she was solo or with OM ... do not waste that energy there, waste it chasing those kids around, making memories, rebuilding yourself .. I see you starting ... keep at it.

Yes -- too consumed with that some days... so need to let go of that and focus on me and the kids...

You do not want W in this condition do you?

No. I don't. I just wish that instead of pursing OW and wanting divorce/separation she had just asked for some time for herself without destroying our family... But I guess that would require her to be thinking logically and on a mature and selfless level...

As far as God protecting their R ... like I said before .. the fact they can not really be close is going to string the R out longer (More patience on your part than you would ever want to endure) ... but seriously ... looking at it from the outside, they really have little in common, can not share much that is relevant, its nothing more than something built on a weak foundation in fantasy-ville ... it will run its course, most of them just do.

If I could share more here, then it would be even more clear how little they do share in common... Even the way they met -- was through something that my W only very recently took an interest in and has now dropped as she has started to focus more on trying to figure out the logistics of a future with OW... From what I can tell, the only thing they really share in common is an interest in some of the same kinds of music and a few television shows -- and of course, their fantasy of what their life together will be like... blech...

Where and who you will be at that point is what your journey is about. Jer 2.0 will be amazing ... you know that, do not let her and her crazy derail you...

Hang in there, you are going to be just fine.

Thanks :-) I definitely count you as one of those "blessings" through all of this... Reading your sitch and your comments on my sitch as well as on other sitches does help me process what I am going through.

And you are right -- I really like where I am heading in terms of my personal growth and I do think Jer 2.0 is taking shape to be someone really wonderful in many different ways.