It's D7's birthday! Managed to knock out the 25 cupcakes although there is blue frosting splattered absolutely everywhere in the kitchen this morning.
She is a very precious girl. I can't believe how outgoing and social she is (given that I am her mother) and how fun, joyful and compassionate she can be. I am very lucky.
And now I need to segue off of this happy topic and onto a more perplexing one - namely STBX.
I'm not sure how to explain this exactly. STBX behaves as though he is afraid of me. He set this whole divorce in motion and now has turned completely passive and seems to expect me to drive everything and he defers to me on everything child related. I see the amount of communication that goes on even in very strained situations on other threads and I'm always a little flummoxed.
So - I know that he's supposed to "own" his relationship with the kids - but it was D7's birthday so I sent him a text this morning explaining our schedule for the day and asking if he wanted to call or Facetime with her and if so, at what time. A little background here. STBX has told me since the beginning that his cell phone does not get service where he lives (with OW) and that there is no landline. He told me he would get a landline about 4 months ago for emergencies but nothing became of it. Usually on Sundays (while he is on patrol) , he stops somewhere with free wifi and texts and asks to facetime with D7. I have always assumed that he had internet access at his house because some of the emails that he sent me regarding divorce were in the middle of the night on days that he wasn't working, and that he just hadn't bothered to install wifi.
So today when I texted him it was with the idea that he would have to drive somewhere to Facetime and we should prearrange a time. He texted back that he was available all night, and would leave it up to D7, if she wanted to chat as long as it was ok with me.
I responded that he didn't have phone reception at his house so didn't we need to arrange a time? And as I typed it I realized something. Of course he has had a landline phone all this time. He and OW both are in Law Enforcement and they have to be reachable in case of an emergency. Duh, Raliced, duh. I saw him start a text 3 times before he finally replied "I just had a landline and internet installed".
I did no begging or pleading in my situation. We have been separated for 8 months and in that time I have asked to talk to him (prearranged) by phone exactly twice. Once for something to do with the mortgage and once last week to discuss what he had told D7 about Divorce. I am hardly intrusive. Yet he goes to great lengths to hide everything he possibly can about his living situation to the extent of not initiating any calls to his children when he is home.
When I did speak with him last week, he brought up the car insurance. I confess, that was one detail in this whole thing I had completely forgotten. He told me he had been paying it on a monthly basis since January - the bill and renewal notice went to his house so I didn't see them. But he apparently was too scared or withdrawn to say anything to me for almost three months.
I know none of our situations are "normal", but doesn't this all seem a little weird? I don't get it.
