Zelda - I want it all, all right now.

[Vanilla]

Z

If you straightforwardly want a D then confrontation is unnecessary, just ask him to leave, you can do that by phone call and say you can talk another time. This reduces the risks to Z. If it is the abuse you need stopped then a personal meeting may be needed to state your boundaries on abuse.

Please work from a place of calmness. Mentioning D other than as a consequence is problematic. I can give you my experience of why this time V made progress in this post.

H response to your stating your boundary may be incomprehensible spew. record any rant and keep the knowledge to yourself. practice recording with your phone, iPad or laptop until you get the technique, if necessary get an app.

STFU until H has finished his spew keep to yourself that you are recording H. Phone needs to be fully charged. Forward the recording to your own mailbox immediately.

Be cool, composed and determined. Ensure there is immediate help to hand and if anything physical, get the hell away. Be safe, above all, be safe YOU are too precious. Leave every incident before the last one from your boundary, you will distract and weaken your case. Also be prepared to see H crumble and if so please do not sooth him or that will reward him. Just walk away.

I know you are angry and sad. When dealing with H become Z the determined, think of one of your heroines. You are on a mission, to get this abuse under control. Please have the cool, calm and collected tool to hand.

The taking of your key is both 'gas lighting,' and 'control' my H has done that to me with my car key. I keep spares hidden elsewhere now too. Using your debit card is the type of action some 13 year olds would do, it's spiteful and you want repaying.

Z, I shall be around and checking in. H may keep avoiding you if he feels guilty.

V