If it is ok I thought that I might chip in on the flirting issue. I dance, sometimes blues dancing with some fantastic dance partners in a dance that lasts for max 3 mins. During that time you are connecting with another human, your focus is on partnering with them. And yes it's flirty.
I see this as intent why do we flirt and connect?
My intent is to make the dance enjoyable, have a better connection, it is never a prelude to a peccadillo, to iniate a sexual encounter, a prelude to intimacy of a carnal kind. It is pleasant nice to meet you, enjoyed dancing with you thank you.
So, dating is different, it is the intention of starting the research for a new partner, a testing of others. Because I am ready for it, because I like the other person, because H is behind me, because I am completely free for a new R. If I am choosing some wonderful new partner then I want to treat them as I would like to be treated With kindness, compassion, interest and friendship. As a person with right to be treated with respect even if it is one date without chemistry. I would like an RD, OD, MCS, Edz, Jim kind of man who has values and appreciates mine. I read on RDs thread he would be looking for the equivalent if his M eventually ceased.
Some try dating but they are unready and decide it is not time for them. They are not truly free and it would complicate their stand for their M.
After this experience with H then it will be a long time before I can reach that space if ever. And yes, I have a high sex drive, up to me to manage that myself. Revenge sex or using someone as a release is not me and really I will not want to be with any man for more than 10 minutes who wants to treat me that way. I feel I am like many women, sex gets better the more involved the R.
My 2 c worth!
V
Mza I posted this on MCS thread.
I see your perspective a little, WW has been unfaithful to you and you feel you need connection with another.
However I would pose the following: the superficial connection may give you release but I suspect leave you feeling emptier than when you started. The type of person with whom you might recycle your current experience is the most likely partner in this or worse. It sounds as if a superficial connection is all you want and this is the majority of experience. If so why not buy a sex toy? Why treat yourself and another like blow up dolls? I for one see this route as 'unfun' and definitely hazardous to health and spirit. Even if you are 'upfront' about your intentions, what type of partner would join you on your fun experience?
Connection with a loving woman could leave you feeling guilty if you have the intention to reconnect with W.
I think I would be the first to say Mza go date, have a lovely time, steal a passionate kiss, if Mza came across as calm and ready. My concern for Mza is that the thoughts he expresses if acted on May leave Mza with an empty heart and in a worse place.
I say this from my heart Mza
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/18/1502:36 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
