Life 2.0 Pt 6

[NH115]

Journaling today, nothing earth-shattering to report.

We're continuing to live "as-if", per our homework assignment from therapist. I could tell she was down yesterday, and we did have a brief R talk. It was fine; she's worried about our life after kids. We've got one going off to college in a couple of years, but we still have 8 years with our younger D, so it's not like we'll be empty-nesters in the immediate future.

She's worried that we don't have enough in common to sustain us after the kids leave. I'm a little worried about that too; it seems like right now if we don't talk about our R, we don't have much to talk about. That said, I don't think it's that important to have a lot in common in order to have a healthy M. I think we have a good balance of individual and common interests. It's more important to be complementary to each other. Her stress mostly comes down to the lack of attraction and connection she feels with me.

Right now I feel on top of the world, like I've finally dropped the rope. I feel in control of myself for the first time in a long time. I don't want to be alone; I want a partner. If she doesn't want to be my W, so be it. There are plenty of others who would love to have the job. Even W tells me I'm a catch. If I'm such a catch, why is she thinking about throwing me back?

Of course, I say "right now" that's how I feel because she hasn't tested me in a few days. Even as good as I feel I'm steeling myself for the next time she does.

Oh, and OM is gracing us with his presence again next week. Lovely.