H is lucky that you have no recording of his abuse! I agree with MC, and the other thing that I have learned is that most abusers have up to 50 incidents before the target says STOP and takes action.
I said to myself V it is not like that for you surely? From my journal alone I count over 200 incidents, as many as 3 in one day in a 15 month period. Only a couple of dozen at the highest level. So by having no boundaries or weak boundaries at best I had a role in encouraging H in his abuse. The number of the abuses from my journal notes dropped by 75% as soon as I started detatching and I began to set boundaries (Oct 2014, when I joined the board here) and from then they were reducing. Major episodes reduced to approximately one per month and were documented by V in her journal. V enforced boundaries each time a major episode happened. Every time the abuse repeated the consequences were carried out, next time if there ever is one I will have a police injunction.
Frankly I am expecting H to avoid you as much as possible until he believes life is calmer. He has realised by now you are taking this seriously and will want to play it as less than it is. Learn from the escalation and inactivity of V in Vs sitch: I urge you to take action to protect yourself Z. Stay strong for your own sake. Remember abuse is about control and expectation and is applied with aggression (not anger), H manages the rest of his world without this behaviour.
Peace and calm today V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/18/1510:56 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
