Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

"Have you thought about confronting him? Asking him what he wants from the marriage?"

Everyday! The reason I haven't is because I'm afraid nothing has changed and if I do that and get the same answer as in the past than I feel like it will be time for me to give up and I'm not quite ready for that yet. Sigh....

Thanks RAI for your post. I know you're right about doing it for me. Honestly, H has never really had a problem with my weight, I was probably at least this heavy in the past. His issue with my weight has been how it makes me feel and how insecure I was about my body. It's so funny, I want to say I like myself, and I do think I'm a good person, a good friend, funny, smart, outgoing, sensitive & strong, I like the inner me and I know that is way more important than the outer me BUT I want to like the outer me too! I said to my sister that no man (H or otherwise) will be attracted to me if I don't find myself attractive which really isn't about looks at all but confidence!

Good choice on the no toupee btw!!

So the last couple days I have been quiet around the house. Not that I haven't been talking to him, I have but not as much as I have been. Admittedly I was pretty upset Sunday. Monday morning I decided to go for a walk/run and when I got home he had cleaned up the kitchen and was watching TV. I really didn't pay much attention to him except to discuss D13's injury. I mopped around him then grabbed my book and went and laid by the pool to read and get some sun, when I got too hot I went in my room to read. It was my night to take D13 to practice and he actually asked what I had in mind for dinner (nothing) and if I wanted him to pick something (precooked) up from the store. He had the table set and dinner heating up when we got home!

So, I'm just going to try to keep to myself more without seeming angry or cold and see how that works for me. More importantly, I'm trying not to be angry or resentful which is not easy to do right now.