The passive woman who wants the H to just not make a big deal out of it and move on......that's the one that is hard to crack, IMHO. Maybe b/c it is hard to know if she's really dealing with the remorse stages (as well as other things), or not.
I agree wholeheartedly. I have no idea where my W stands because she is passive and avoidant about everything. Frankly, I no longer care where she stands. If she wanted to R, she would make it clear and it would be obvious.
Originally Posted By: koalada
I need to detach more. Today I needed to stay quiet long in the house. And everyone behaved as everything was totally normal. No yelling, no anger, just normality. And that was disgusting. We behaved like a normal couple, just without any physical contact. There is this huge elephant in the house but we just ignore it. So I can be part of the household without being the husband? A kind of uncle or old friend? I'd rather drop dead than let this happen.
My house has been like that for months. It is obviously not a normal state of affairs (sorry for the pun, really), but don't over-analyze it. You are not ignoring it. You are dealing with it in the most civil way possible: You are consciously not becoming bitter about it. That is not ignoring it; that is addressing it - head on! Shouting or fighting would make you feel better in the short term, but would worsen your sitch and your relationship with your children. You are rising above it. That is the most masculine and fatherly thing you can do. You cannot do anything more about it at the moment. So cherish the time with your children. Stop focusing on whether you are a husband, uncle, father, or friend. When you are at your house, just be in the moment. Smile a lot. I am getting quite good at this.
