Onwards and upwards.

[Barry]

I had to make progress in general, I could feel myself sinking.
Obviously I don't feel amazing about things, but I'm living again now.
I'll check out the book above, sounds interesting. It's not going to help me with my WAW, that ship has sailed but neediness has been one of my biggest character flaws for a long time. It's strange, I'm only really like that around W. This is one of the reasons I've decided to D. Although I love her still, she doesn't bring out the best in me any more. Right now, she feels toxic to me actually.

Regarding the coffee invite, as I say, I'm sure it's an innocent invite from the woman and I only mentioned it because it cheered me up a bit. W and I have agreed to remain single until the D happens. I'm fairly sure she'll keep to her word on that, and I have no intention of doing anything untoward either. For me, I do miss female company though. Not even the physical aspects so much (but boy I'm getting there!). I think I'll go, it'll be good to see her again and as I say, she's a funny (and fun) person. I need more people like that in my life right now.

I put that post on my last thread because I was trying to keep this thread positive in nature. That post describes the most shameful thing I've ever done in my life Mozza. If I'm honest with myself, I'm still ashamed to this day. I have to forgive myself completly and forget about it. I was never able to do that in my M, I was never able to say to W "I've never cheated on you", it felt like such a burden.
As I said, W forgave me years ago, it's a shame I couldn't do the same.

As I move on with my life, and maybe in time meet someone new, I won't have that with them. I can start anew, with a clean slate. That gives me hope.