It's a nightmare. Wake me up.

[Detrmnd]

Well koalada it sounds that you are dealing with things very smartly and really detaching. Most of the fears you discussed I share, every time I detach and there isn't a response I fear that I am loosing her more and more... However I have realised two things in the last few days..

1)My fear, came from a loss of control
2)The detaching will help me, even if it doesn't help the R

I guess the hardest step for me, and one I have been saying for ages but only just started to believe is that I need to focus on making myself happy. As ultimately that will decide wether she returns to the R or not. But also will prepare me for any eventuality.

I realise this is more easily said than done, and god knows I cry at times. The injustice of it all seems too much to bare and the temptation for self pity is great. I hope that with my therapy and following the advice of the books and on here I can really move forwards. I am therefore certain you can too! I wish you the best of luck and will keep an eye on your updates. Sometimes it's easier reading others problems than listening to peoples attempts to help.