Onwards and upwards.

[Barry]

W also had a bit of an issue with me last night. It may not seem like a big deal but it annoyed me to be honest.

I visited a friend which is quite close to my W's older sisters house. My SIL texted me asking how I was doing, said she'd seen my car parked close by and said to pop in for a coffee and it would be nice to see me. We've always got on really well so I did briefly stop by. She is also the only in-law that lives locally.

I told her that things were going to go more smoothly from now on as I'm moving on and letting go. I said I still loved W but that I had to let her go so that we could both find happiness again. I made SIL a promise before we were married, that I'd always do the right thing by W and would look after her. Unfortunatly, the right thing now is to divorce.

SIL actually got a little upset about how sad it was that this was happening. Everyone thought we'd be together forever and it's a bit of a shock to them all (her family). I told her to try and not be sad about it, and ultimatly she needs to just be there for W now. I said that I'd keep in touch but that it was obviously going to be difficult for me to be (emotionally) part of their family now when (legally), I won't be.

I wish it wasn't like that, I have 4 lovely nieces, and I've always been close to all my in-laws. Anyway, SIL asked me to let W know that I'd been to visit her which I said I would. We agreed that if W wasn't happy with that, I wouldn't visit again.

This is how the conversation went...

B "I saw SIL tonight, she wanted you to know. It won't be a regular occurance, I hope you're ok with that?"
W "Whatever"
B "Would you prefer I didn't speak to your family again"
W "It's not up to me, it's up to them. They can make their own choices"
B "So no then"
W "I really don't mind either way, I don't need texts informing me after the event"

I didn't text back anything after that but it was the "they can make their own choices" part that annoyed me.

I know that technically they're not going to be my family for much longer but they still are at the moment. I don't want to fall out with any of them (and they don't with me either). I didn't say anything to SIL that I wouldn't have said in front of W, it was actually all very innocent. I was trying to set SIL's mind at ease about the sitch.

I suppose I DO need to sever the ties with all her family now though, it's just something else W has stolen from me along with my dreams and half my grandchildren when they come along.

I may tell W to let her family know that she would prefer that they didn't contact me at all, and that I won't them either but it's not MY choice for it to be that way.

Anyway...onwards and upwards.