There are two words in your threads that concern me. Alcohol and gambling, both of these activities are depressive and will reduce mood. They are both extremely addictive especially as a distraction tool. I note you are saying that you are beginning to hate yourself, in general in depressive times your body state (internally) wants to vegetate and suffer, activity is the key. Have you discovered TED talks yet? There are some very motivating talks on TED, there is a free app for TED, these are educational talks that are very inspiring.
It is a very dangerous combination and can (not necissarily will) set you up for compulsivity. Please accept from a spouse of a compulsive gambler, a 12 step attendee, and someone who has to deal with alcohol and gambling fall out in her life, that this is dangerous and extremely unattractive in a friend, relative or spouse. Please STOP before any damage is done. Compulsiveness is a fire that you can leave alone, it is Vs strong recommendation to cut both of these activities from your life for a long time.
Go exercising, volunteer, go GAL, study, read, take up a new hobby. Ins, as a delightful young man with a loving son and a future with or without W, react positively to your sitch. The measure of a person is what they do in the tough times, anyone can be happy in the good times. Additionally you will have more free time and money as a result.
Enjoy the zoo, I just love the merecats and penguins! Oh the antics and games they play.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 03/17/1508:11 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
