a young man with hope II

[Mozza]

Hey lnlyshp, a quick response to show you that you're not alone tonight, that others are reading you almost live.

I feel alone too, especially the week without the kids. Sometimes I feel it's pointless to be alone at home, like my life is not really worthy if I don't interact with others. I'm trying to get over this feeling.

Does anyone have any tips for coming out of the depression phase? I have been trying to eat better and exercise more - but have also started drinking to excess and gambling. Most of the day I just sit around thinking about how much I hate myself. It's not a PMA at all. I sometimes worry about myself.

Me too, I sometimes worry about myself. I have self-destructive behaviors much like you have your gambling and drinking. It does not make it ok, but you're not alone. Eating well and exercising are good places to start. From these boards, I would add GAL to your list. Tonight I had dinner with a friend and I felt fantastic, like I was already over my sitch and on my way to a bright and fun future. I never get this feeling sitting alone in my living room. It can be hard to plan when you're depressed so tell your friends and family that one way they can help you through these hard times is to invite you to do things.

Asked her the other day if she would be willing to take S to the zoo for his birthday, just the three of us as a family but also explained it was okay if she was not comfortable with that. She seemed like it was okay.

My reading of the books and advice on these boards is that you should say that you're doing X and that she's welcome to join.

The other night - she had called me and told me how depressed she was because things were not going her way, that she had no friends and no money and no car and etc. I just tried to stay positive and make her laugh. I don't really know what to make of it. Just a moment of vulnerability maybe?

Yes, probably just a moment of vulnerability. My WAW did the same thing soon after she left me, yet it didn't change a thing to her actions and she shortly had OM move in with her after that.

wish I had friends that understood what I was going through. I am so thankful that I found this community when she left in November.

I'm not surprised that your friends don't relate much to your situation. I'm often annoyed when I speak about my separation to people below 25 because they have so little experience of life that they can't fathom the pain and the experience as a whole. They say things like "Man, forget about her, plenty of fish in the sea!" And I want to tell them that they have no idea what they're talking about. That's one of the reasons why I'm so impressed that you're here and so mature about this whole thing.

Remember that time is in your side. There will be ups and downs, but things will get better in the long run. You won't feel this bad in six months and you'll be even better another six months later. Work hard on your GAL and PMA knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.