Claire learning to accept

[Maybell]

I'm not sure I'm the right one to answer this. I wanted you to feel heard.

Tonight, the thing that is helping me is to try to see him really clearly. Whatever good points he has are overshadowed for me by his behavior to our famIly. That can never be undone. My kids will always have lived through this experience. It can not be mended.

I can never change any of that. Not my missteps, not his. Is hating him who I want to be? not really. I'm angry now because he has thrown me into a really frustrating situation wrt housing that is entirely of his making. But ultimately this situation will resolve itself. And then what? I won't really have much to be angry about in the moment. Everything that really burns my candle will be past. The rest of it, as Labug likes to say, is just weather.

I say be specific about what you're angry about. Really specific. Journal it. Then think about how much of it is rooted in fear and then examine that fear. And what do you want your life to be like? In what ways will this ending free you?

But you have to go through the anger first.