You have to think of it like a general in an army. The war is what you want to achieve victory in, not in every little battle. You have to take the long-tail view, and set things up in a way that moves you towards that long term goal. Its VERY tough sometimes, as you have things you want to change right away, but your W isn't in the same head space, or reading and getting the same advice as you, so she's likely going through changes, but at a MUCH reduced pace. Be the tactician, make your moves to win the war, and don't fret over the small losses here and there. Use them to better strategize and work out how to continue towards the bigger goal.
Sorry, i like analogies, and thats the one i find is best for myself to think of when it comes to my own marriage. Not that its really a "war", but that theres a bigger, farther off goal, and i have to keep moving all the little pieces in that direction together.
The stepson issue is an issue i'm not sure about. That she's feeling better with him around makes some amount of sense, but that she doesn't feel that same way with the younger ones, i'm not sure what to say about that. Maybe someone else on the list can respond to those specific questions/issues?
M: 10 years, T: 12 years Me: 41, WAW: 38 SS:19, D:18, SD:7
