Zelda - I want it all, all right now.

[Vanilla]

I just feel so over it. I don't know how I can expect to build a happy life with someone who is so toxic. None of my other relationships went this way. I remember two very good 'friend-friend' relationships that were long term but didn't progress. It took someone like my H to really get to me (apparently in the bad sense as well as the good.)

I am just a classic avoider. Denial was my middle name. All of my previous Rs have been friend-friend ones too. But clearly there is something to learn from each R. Whatever we do. I know much of my oomph has gone and I am working to get it back.

You say toxic, but that Z is a judgement of H. Who knows where they get their chit from. It is theirs to own, suggest you stay away from condemning H but seek to enforce your boundary. Let H clear the pooh from his own sandbox. It is behaviour which is most concerning especially as there appears to be blame shifting. Blame shifting is classic denial and not wanting to handle things.

V