Hi Pink - TBH, your H still just sounds all over the place. And as your friends say (and was it Wonka too?) this may well be MLC, and could last for some time.

It sounds as though many of the things you are doing are very helpful. You are doing many social and GAL things. You are looking after your kids. And you are dealing with the realities of D paperwork alongside all of that. Good for you!

It doesn't sound as though your H is coping well with things. He sounds lost, sad and confused and he's sending out pretty mixed messages. Whether he will keep things moving with the D, or not, who knows? If D is what you want, you can progress things. But if you don't, you can just make the most of him not being able to do his paperwork, missing deadlines and so on.

It's a shame he has lost some connection with the kids too. Your R may or may not survive this, but he'll always be their Dad. I'm sure at some point all of this will smack him right between the eyes. He will wake up and look around him at the ruined parts of his life. When that will be - who knows. I think this is why the detachment is so important with MLC. You could get pulled under if you stayed too close. Better to be an observer and limit the effect this has on you as best you can.

I do think you are doing so well Pink and you do sound strong. Do you think there might be room on RD's bike for another one? He might have to bring the Mercedes for this trip!

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus