RD - Yes, I am super confused. But how not to be with this crazy H of mine that tells me in one sentence that the D is right for us, cries all the time, tells me how much he loves me and misses me, how he can't forget me and take me from his life and his mind, wants to go to counseling and church with me.
By other hand, I am getting a little tired of his crying baby stuff. It's time to grow up.
V - Health is more manageable now. I have been eating right most of the time. Lost another 5lbs, but it is OK, I do not look like the walking dead yet.
I will make some time to visit your posts and update myself, I noticed on Mozza's page that things went sour for awhile in your sitch. Hope you are safe and it is all going/is back to normal.
You are in always in my prayers.
T - No dear, Mother's day is the second sunday of may here. That's was very sweet of you to bring some movie and chocolates to your mom. You are very lucky, my mom is 5000 miles away. I miss her a lot.
TL - I am also very confused, in the same time I am getting stronger, sometimes even enjoying my life as a single. My kids are teenagers, so life is busy all the time, loud music, going places. I am also stronger because I am getting angry with my H, he decide to be this victim that I have no compassion about.
Update: My life is very, very busy right now. Last Friday went to a bar concert with some girlfriends and danced a lot. Got a big hug from the bartender, but that was it. It feels really wear to go out hunting after being married and faithful for 18 years.
I have my S14 doing football training 3x a week, my S17 doing guitar. I also have a financial class on Thursday night, go to the gym as much as I can, have a prayer group, go to my IC, and whatever shows up, like coffee with friends, a beer, etc.
Last Friday sent a message to H asking if he would be around because I was gonna be back home by 12am and he said yes. He did not call the kids, did not text them or showed up at the house. It upsets me. He does not care much about his own kids. He shows up in a house only when he knows I will be there.
Saturday no sign of H and then sunday got a message to call him back because he needed my help. Called and he asked me to help him with the Financial Sworn Statement for the D. Really? WTH?
H said that he can't do those papers and that he was leaving to Mexico on Monday and that he should have asked the Judge for more time but got all mixed up at the court.
I told him I have not done my paperwork yet and I did not had the time on sunday. I said: Sorry, but I am super busy today, will take the boys out to lunch, then to cut their hair, need to clean my car, go to my girlfriends house for awhile, go for a manicure, and at night I would sit with the boys to see the Walking Dead. He said: Oh, that is OK, but can you check with your L if he can postpone the date a week after? Then I said I would try and text him Monday or Tuesday.
I was always the one to do all the paperwork in our house, H was the breadwinner but that is about all. I already gave him all the accounts and passwords, all he needs to do is to work hard. I guess the baby still wants me to feel sorry for him. Nope, I won't, if he is a big boy to face the world, have affair, take his stupid decision, then he needs to be a big boy to face his reality and deal with his own mess.
We also talked about the coming counseling. Unfortunately Michelle is very expensive and it is not the kind of money I have right now. I asked again about his intentions with the MC and explained to him that this is most of the time to try to make the couple talk, think, about their marriage.
H said: "Pink, we are getting D, but I think the MC will help us to be friends, to be good parents, to understand ourselves better. I really want to do this with you because I think it will be the right thing to do for both of us. You also know how much I love you and that I will always love you. I need you to understand that.
Ok. So, I am lost. I do not get it. I feel I should just think that he is done with me and close the door, but in the same time I feel that maybe he needs my help to step up and resolve his own issues, it's like asking for help without asking.
Why I think this way? Because we are friends, and we get along well about kids issues, that's one thing we were always in the same page. I am going to my IC. So why he wants me to go if he is so certain about the D? He can go by himself and treat his crazy A**.
Some of our friends told me that they think he is a MLC, he keeps telling people that he got a promotion, that he will develop the business and then he will leave the company. Oh dear, he is going crazy.
So, sometimes I feel I want to just run away, go to Ireland, meet with RD and go for a bike ride. That would be the right decision.
