Hello all ... hope everyone had a great weekend. Have a bunch of stuff on my noggin so I need to purge it all out here ... hopefully put it in a way that does not make me out to look completely crazy.
Oh ... and Jack .. if you are reading .. I tried out your recipe ... wow ... yeah that's a keeper! Thank You!
So it was hot here all weekend. Saturday I woke up early and met W and S at the track meet. W arranged a chiro appt so she left after about an hour. We arrived together, she was a little irritated (in pain) that she had no idea where I was, coming from the other direction I parked in the back lot, her in the front. She had S carrying the icebox, poor kid .. trooper though.. I found them struggling to carry things in the parking lot and grabbed the two heavy items. I always had joked with her that she only married me because I am one helluva pack mule. I did not say anything ... just carried the stuff and we got settled. S's 1st event was on the other side of the track, I walked over to watch, W stayed as she would have to leave. She TM quite often, I sent pics, she actually complimented me on many saying she loved them. Took me back at how nice she was actually being towards me. (This them continues all weekend). W leaves, I stay and wait .. wait .. wait some more .. 4 hours for 3 events that only lasted 45 seconds ...lol. I ran into one of the baseball coaches from a few years ago, talked to him some along with some other parents ... not my thing typically .. but I am more comfortable in this role now. S and I leave, thinking about lunch. W TM that she is done and asked if I wanted to have lunch, I pick a place .. however she was headed the other direction so we decide just to meet up at the Baseball game as planned. S and I have lunch at my place, get to the game (Still mid 90's). W arrives about the 2nd inning, upset at me because I did not tell her what field ... I told her I emailed her all the information, left it at that. I went out to the stands to grab a couple waters for S and I, W went back to being nice, asking how I was handli9ng the heat, that she does not know how I do it. I just shrugged and made a joke about how I will be a lobster tomorrow. Game was over, I walked them to the car ... hugged S .. she got in and didnt say goodbye (I only noticed because she was so upset about me doing that same thing Thursday) I really kinda laughed inside about it. Went home .. cool shower and watched some movies.
Sunday I went to church, only a couple more weeks till I am all finished. I TM W on where to meet up, I walked in and she was there with S smiling at me ... was weird .. was the old smile she used to flash at me ... I kinda looked around to see if there were any cameras thinking a clown would jump out and scare me or something. So S and I left, we went to my shop and spent 3 hours building his Leprechaun trap ... I had a blast having him run the machinery, teaching him things ... he later asked if we could build something every weekend and sell it .. of course splitting the profits 50/50. W called me asking about what kind of meat shreds in the crockpot, telling me she had a tummy ache because she ate to much with S. This morning I drop off S with his project, he was so proud, showing her all the working mechanisms she looked up at me with this big smile and said "Cali .. this is really really cool... its amazing" asked me how long we spent on it. She then shared a bite of her new recipe with me, was strange, like the old nice her made an appearance. She asked how I was (I probably looked tired, I did'nt sleep well ... stange dreams had me up alot last night) I told her I was good .. just had a hard time sleeping .. she came in and gave me a hug. On the way to work she TM again about the trap, then how DQ was giving away cones ... she missed them although they always made her feel sick (we used to get them all the time) ... then she shared some things about work and more about S.
SO ... I am not sure what to think of this ... if anything. The way she is being nice seems sincere but given the past 3-4 years I am gun shy thinking there is something behind it ..lol. The PMS cycle is due, she used to always be real nice prior .. might be a bit of that... time will tell.
The dreams I had last night ... we were together, trying to work things out past our problems, I am not sure what to think of that. My spiritual side has been really growing as of late, the mediation date has been temporarily scheduled to the Monday right after Easter Sunday ... I found that extremely strange given the circumstances. I do feel He is working but as all things, I am in no place to figure out the whys whens hows ... I will just accept this is where I am to be, keep growing and focusing on what I can. The Message during church was about being blind and then being able to see, for me this entire journey has been one of newly found sight .. I can not believe how screwed my priorities were a few years ago, but I am so happy I was allowed to change, to see what is really important and to be allowed to become the man I was meant to be all along.
