Part 16 - edz, just edz

[Sotto]

Hi Edz, lots of advice and input from your DB friends today. I thought I would add my 0.2p to the mix. Three ideas come to mind for me from what you have been saying recently.

First is radical acceptance. You remain very close to things that you have little control over. Accept that 'thing' may or may not materialise. Accept that your W may want to 'talk' next week, next month or never. Accept your W is confused and may be for the next month or year. Accept that she needs to take her own journey for now. Accept that you may, or may not have a future together. Truly accept all of this and release it to a higher power. As Jim says, stop the subconscious pressure - Let it all go. Let it all happen. Step away...

Second is forward momentum. In your sitch, you talk of waiting. Waiting for your W, Going back into your cupboard. Waiting for something to change. Waiting until she wants to talk, or tells you about thing. Or until she decides it is over. Or it isn't. This links to my first point. Let it all go and move forwards yourself. Press ahead with your new GAL activities (so pleased to hear about those BTW.) Take your own life off 'hold' and put it on 'forward.' Every time you say to yourself 'I'm waiting for this or that' - tell yourself no. I'm moving forwards. This doesn't mean you are closing the door on a possible future relationship, but the momentum is forwards, not 'on hold.'

Third is Edz, just Edz. Truly accept that you and your W may (or may not) reconcile. And embrace the opportunities the 'may not' might offer. Who is Edz, what does he like and want? What new things might he like to do. With whom? and so on. You sometimes say - my life was all about W & S before. And going forwards I may meet someone else. But there's a big healthy part between those two, which is reclaiming and enjoying lost parts of you, so that you arrive at any new R 'fully baked and happy already.'

I hope some of this is useful Edz. I think you're doing really well. But as you say in recent weeks, you sound a bit more down and a little stuck. You'll find a way to move past this I'm sure. And the beauty is - all of the above is possible for you - whatever your W may be doing. We all have faith in Edz!