I am no vet, but I just wanted to reach out. I have not read about your whole sitch, but in the last few posts, there were some things that resonated with me.
You had mentioned concerns about your weight. If you really want to lose weight, then do it for yourself. Don't do it for your WH and don't worry about trying to impress your WH. I know we all want to impress our WSs, but as a LBS, projecting confidence and inner peace (regardless of your weight) will be much more attractive. To do this, you have to recognize that while you are a work in progress, you are already beautiful. I am balding. Compared to your weight issues, there is nothing I can do about my hair (no toupee, no way!!). Sometimes I will look in the mirror and frown, but then I think about my awesome strength (emotional resilience) and the hair issue doesn't bother me so much. I remind myself that some women find bald men MORE attractive. The same can be said about full-bodies women, BTW. So please cheer up and love yourself regardless of your appearance. Besides, compared to effort it takes to DB, shedding a few pounds should be a snap. The 1/2 marathon will help immensely.
I ran a 1/2 marathon a few months after BD and it was a great experience. I also registered for my local 1/2 marathon last week. We can cheer each other on. Maybell has a thread called "5k training". It has been dormant over the winter. think it is high time we revive it. If the half-marathon has a training program (an app or a some sort of gym membership) I highly recommend that you avail yourself of it.
The temptation to check on what your WH is doing/texting/etc... is very difficult to overcome. I know. It is hard when you are in such close proximity. However, every time I have pried or spied, I have regretted it. It did not make me feel better. It only augmented my desire to pry and spy. It is so very hard to detach. I know. I just wanted to let you know, that you are not alone in these feelings. *hugs*
