Zelda - I want it all, all right now.

[Zelda09]

I don't think he would instigate anything when I return today. He's 90% passive, 10% defensive a$$.

The fists - up there in front of him, in line with my ears. He was just shaking, eyes bulging. I couldn't tell if he was meaning for it to be a threatening posture or this was just him in flight/fight stance. At the time he was begging/screaming at me to help him, telling me to go away. It really just made no sense, he was out of his mind. I remember just being very still and looking at his hands and telling him to step away.

I want him to fall all over himself apologizing, tell me it was the beer and the meds, the migraine yesterday, that he understands how serious this is to me. I don't know.

I feel nothing right now. No sadness, anger, despair...just nothing.