Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

Wow, see myself heading on that downward spiral. Don't think I'll try to stop myself. I'm not going to do anything rash but definitely am going to stop being so friendly. I thought maybe it was working, now I think I was wrong. I feel like we are definitely back to some of that texting BS again, I of course can't be positive but I have a pretty good feeling. He's grilling dinner and I can see him standing at the grill, back to me texting. I went to bring him a plate and suddenly his phone disappears. I'm done with that. Don't get me wrong, I still don't want a D and I'm not quite ready financially to kick him out of the house, but all the other conversations and watching movies and what not I can't do right now. He obviously knows what he's doing is wrong or he wouldn't be hiding it. I'm tired of pretending to be a "whole" family when we obviously are not and putting my life on hold to wait and see if "he changes his mind." Not to take away what I have been doing for myself, I am a better, happier person overall, still a long way to go but getting there!

I really wish I could get some feedback from a vet...sigh

To end on a positive note I registered for a half marathon! It's not until November but I definitely need the time to train. I hope this will keep me focused and motivated to get back into shape!