...What were some of the nuggets you gleaned from the (Divorce Care) group and discussion? I'm curious AJ
AJ, Divorce Care is a nation-wide 13 week program to help those going thru separation or divorce. A person can start at any point of the program, and a number of us have continued going though we have gone to all of the sessions.
The "new" things I learned at the last Divorce Care on 'Forgiveness' were:
- the alternative to forgiveness is bitterness. And it is easy to choose bitterness b/c we feel we are entitled, we are justified to feel angry/hurt/bitter by what our ex has done. Self-pity is also very compelling;
- Forgiveness is a process. 3 stages they provided to help see if you are moving along the forgiveness line are:
1. I won't bring it up; 2. I won't gossip about it to others. Included in this is wishing bad karma/bad things to happen to your ex (he/she deserves to get an std, etc.) 3. I won't dwell on it anymore (kinda sounds like detaching, right?)
And finally, don't tell your ex that you forgive them. They may not feel they have done anything wrong, and then it only makes you look foolish/self-righteous. Wait for the right time on something like this. Otherwise, your actions should show your forgiveness.
AJ 
