Generally, no. I don't see that that helps anything. You can simply say you didn't want the divorce. People usually will stop at that.
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WW has said she's really nervous about the kids finding out someday and wants to keep it a secret from them.
Too bad, so sad. The kids will eventually find out. Your W's die is already cast. The tough part for you is what you want to look like when they do. You will either be on the right side or the wrong side of that. Your kids will judge each of you based on how they've seen you behave.
Now keep in mind that if you D, you will be co-parenting with your W for a good while, and you will have to get along to some degree, and it will be beneficial for your kids to have some respect for each of you, so you gain nothing by running down your W. And your kids don't have a choice between you either, they're stuck with both of you, so again, don't put them in a bad spot.
So if you remember that it's not your job to judge your W or throw her under the bus, it's a little easier. By the same token, it's certainly not your job to lie for her either. She has the responsibility for her relationship with the kids, not you.
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For me, I want support but I think I want privacy more. I don't want anyone to be overbearing while I work through it. I kinda want to be left alone.
Reveal only to the extent you need help. Everyone will have an opinion, and you will get lots of conflicting advice that is generally aimed at a short term fix from people who don't have to live with the consequences of their advice. In the end, it will be up to you to decide how and with whom you want to live, and what you need to do to be comfortable with your decisions.
