Confused 3

[Swabby]

I would just focus on yourself Joe, thats the one thing you CAN control right now, is the things you're doing for yourself. Your W's path is going to take its own course, and the best thing you can do is really just find a happy place in who you are, that will radiate throughout your person, and your wife will see it, even if it takes longer for her to come around.

Its great she's doing things for herself that connect her to the community, and bring her back into the real world, and not the fantasy world of the phone and locked away room she's become accustomed to.

Keep your distance, keep your morals and your boundaries. Make her come to you, not the other way around. I myself have been practicing this, and while its hard, and what would seem counter-intuitive, its been working for me as well. Women, and even men, love to go after what they can't have, the challenge is sometimes part of the draw. This happens so frequently for us LBH, that we over amp our desire to make things work, which, as we've both continually seen, just back fires completely.

So stay the course, measure progress in yourself, and the little things that happen positively between your wife and yourself. Keep posting, and keep your personal logs, and in the end, you'll become a much fuller and desirable person and partner.

This has been my Mantra, and while it can be trying, emotional, and sometimes seem impossible, if you look not at the past, or the future, but just really focus on the present moment/day/hour, and ask yourself, "am i doing X to make myself happy now", and the answer is yes, then all the other things will fall away. If the answer is no, stop, and re-assess, and find something you CAN do for yourself until the answer is yes again. Practice this enough, and you'll start to create your own happiness around you that will be fulfilling, and it will naturally draw positive energy around you and into your life. That sort of a draw will be impossible for your wife, and all those around you, to miss, and eventually, it will draw them in as well.

Nathaniel