Masterpiece - a little more progress...

[LoisB]

Jer,

I really think a lot of this is "Mind over Matter."

I imagine I would be much further ahead...and probably wouldn't have done some regretful things had I convinced myself that my husband had left for a long journey.

I think back now and I wish I had tried harder, in the beginning, to push thoughts of him out of my mind. It's possible.

If, when he had come into my thoughts, I would have forced myself to accept the reality that he left for a journey to Mt. Everest and there's no telling when and if he will return.

It would have been a much kinder way, kinder to me, for me to move forward with my life. I got stuck in all those feelings of...what about the renewing of the marriage vows? What about all those good memories together? What of this and what of that????

Bottom line: Many spouses lose their partners to death and illness and whatever. Women have had to survive the loss of spouses since time began.

I would have been better off...just getting on with it and letting him go.

Use the power of your mind to make things easier. Imagine a scenario where it doesn't hurt so much...maybe she is off fighting terrorists? Maybe she is discovering a cure for cancer in the jungle?

Find what works for you and practice it.

Imagine yourself five years from now...sitting pretty in a beautiful home with a spectacular view and come up with five specific ways you got there. How did you achieve that serenity? How did you earn our living? How did you let your spouse go?

You can do this.