Sadpand, I'll give you examples of two of my most important boundaries.

1) I will not live in an open marriage. I moved out as soon as my H told me he was having an A and clearly wanted to continue it

2) I cannot be friends with my H when he is having an A. H started talking to me about OW being nasty to him. I told him - H, I am not your friend and will not discuss OW with you in this way. I am your W and your A with her has betrayed our marriage vows. I stopped calling him after that.

The thing to bear in mind is that your W is probably going to continue with this behaviour for a while - WHATEVER YOU DO. So Barry is right. Be absolutely clear if you are going to follow this through. It is better to set no boundary at all than set one and not follow it through. So, if you really do plan to file if she goes on that weekend fine. But if you don't want to do it, don't say you will.

Is it viable for you to continue living together whilst she is deeply into this OM and behaving as she is?

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus