If she spends time with him while I am not myself out and busy (thus leaving me alone and abandoned, especially late into the night) then I will withdraw and not engage in talking with her when she is here.
I suppose this may seem rather like weak soup, because even if she *is* here I am alone and abandoned, but for whatever reason it doesn't feel that way. Or... ergh... maybe that's the point, isn't it, that the point of the 180 is to act AGAINST my feelings?
So there are two questions, I suppose. One is whether this boundary is a legitimate target in the first place, and another is whether it can even be set at all.
I've been thinking that the response to the camping trip would be something like "we are still legally married, and I am not okay with my wife spending a romantic weekend alone with another man. You can go on this trip, but if you do, the papers will be filed by the time you return." Except-- isn't that a threat? Wouldn't she just defy it and spit in my eye, even when I follow through?
I tried looking for the "boundaries" book and found it was only available as an audiobook. I must be looking in the wrong places.
