Because being friends means you'd talk about things like who you're dating, or who you're marrying, or whatever, and to hear he's dating someone or marrying someone however many years down the line would hurt, considering he said he just didn't want to be in a relationship...
I think you'll be surprised at how quickly you get over this, especially once you find someone who appreciates your value.
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turns out the guy who I thought rejected my fb request, never got it
Of course, since you learned here not to mindread, you didn't prematurely chalk that up to rejection, did you. (I will forever picture Mr. Bond yelling "MINDREADING")
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but is dating some girl right now who is really nothing like me (kind of out of my league as I mentioned earlier) I'm not club-hot, and I'm educated, I have opinions, I will tell you how I feel about something.
I don't buy into this "league" crap. And stop devaluing yourself. My STBX is club-hot, she's not well educated, she has opinions of people, not ideas, and she rarely revealed how she felt about anything, and that didn't work out so well. Be comfortable with who you are, and someone will appreciate that.
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if I didn't see something long-term I wouldn't keep going on dates with someone.
That's fair, don't play someone, but...
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I just don't really find this other guy attractive enough to be interested, but maybe it would be good practice for the whole dating thing
So maybe you just answered your own question. Don't give the guy wrong expectations, but maybe he's a friend.
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I have learned a lot about myself, what to watch for, and what I need to work on. It's always ongoing and will never be complete but I like to think I have improved somewhat smile I really counted on STBX for everything and relied on him for my happiness (which left me frequently disappointed), instead of finding my own hobbies, developing relationships with friends and family, etc. Now that I can do that I hope I'll be in a good place for whomever may come next. I also know that I need to be firm about my boundaries and if someone refuses to honor that, then I need to let them go, and not give in and hope they just won't hurt me again. I don't want to be single forever and do want to be re-M, when the time is right and the person is right.
And this is pure gold. And this is why you put in the work. STBX is free to wander aimlessly wheresoever he chooses, but KGirl is putting the band back together.
