Tell her:
Pros: Her filters get changed. She avoids costly HVAC issue.
Cons: If you tell her can you see how she could view it as controlling? Not minding your own business? Not HEARING her when she says to basically leave her alone? Not respecting her words?

Don't tell her:
Pros: You stay on your track. You are respecting her wishes. You are not controlling her. She learns self-reliance.
Cons: Her filters don't get changed. She could potentially have an expensive HVAC issue.

Change filters without saying anything:
Pros: avoid what is perceived as controlling behavior. She avoids HVAC issues (until the next time they need changed)
Cons: she doesn't learn to be self-sufficient. You aren't learning to play in your own sand-box. You aren't learning how to respect her stated desires.

Those are just a few. So what do you think you should do and why?

-PM

P.S. For a new thread, go to the "For Newcomers" page (where all the threads are listed for this topic. Near the top left there is a button that reads, "New Topic".

M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.