Anxiously waiting for it to fall apart

[123Gwen]

Dejavu2 - sorry you are here but glad you have found this board to help you. Yes your sitch sounds eerily similar to my life. Best thing I ever did was not to move away from friends who have become like family.

My husband also works in an industry that has taken a toll on him. The moves were thrilling at first but trying to find the next gratifying career move during these economic times has definitely contributed to the MLC. You said work was your H's mistress. That was our case as well and eventually when work slowed down the OW was waiting in the wings.

9 months post BD I can tell you that restraint is your friend. It has, by far, been the hardest lesson but the most helpful advice I can share. Also a helpful guiding principle is to make every decision from a place of peace. As time has passed I can see how this has helped immensely and allows some hope for our M.

Listen to Job and Cadet and people like Matt. They are wise and have such perspective. I can't thank them enough for their support. That being said the most important person to listen to in all this is the deepest part of you. Not the emotional, fearful Dejavu but the inner voice that can only be heard in the quietest of moments without the clatter of children and obligations. You need to search for that voice deep in your heart. Listen to it then restrain yourself before acting impulsively. If you can find that voice then you'll be okay.

One of the beautiful people here posted that DBusting is really about saving yourself. Just like they tell you in those airline safety videos -- put your oxygen mask on first before helping those around you.

Hang in there. You are doing just great. Hope your holiday is lovely.