Funny, that I feel a bit frightened at the slight glimmer of change in our sitch. Our M is hanging in the balance this week. But then I told myself - it was hanging in the balance anyways...

It has helped me to truly know that I will be okay either way. And I truly feel better for having told H I love him and D isn't my choice. He will do with that what he will.

The unhelpful thought I'm having is what if he's using this week to give OW ultimatums? That would make our marriage plan B. The other scary thing is that he is still sounding pretty foggy. And I do think extreme caution would be needed if we start to turn away from imminent D.

I guess for me, I don't want a D. So, if D proceedings don't start now, that would be a positive. That buys some more time. If so, it may just be a case of baby steps forwards. Whichever way, I'm glad that I have done what I've done. And that's the main thing. However this turns out...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus